Re: *is travelling through the Boonies and comes across a Gay Rights Parade while searching for the hideout of Dillo Brando*

[QueenMinnie]

The picklemonster cackled in delight and disbelief as it looked upon its fallen quarry. It had done it! It had killed someone!
"I did it! I did something use-"

Before he could finish its last thought George slammed his buster sword into the repulsive creature's gullet.
He didn't allow his rage to overwhelm him-he had someone to protect. Finally he could be of use to someone. As if on cue he heard a woman scream and he turned back to face down the rest of the assembled picklebeasts.
"Die monsters, you don't belong in this world!" he snarled.

Like a master artist he made easy work of the pickles. Despite its immense weight he swung his sword as easy as if it were a child's wooden sword. Each slash causing a sickening echo of pulp and bone cracking as the air was filled with briney ichor and blood.
Aeris looked on and shock and amazement at the one winged angel with a buster sword slaughtering her would be assailants. Her thoughts of her friend, whom she assumed was a homosexual, were gone and her mind was instantly drawn to this raw virile paragon of masculinity, much like all women.

Although it lasted but a moment, it felt like an eternity had gone by. A perfect moment, when time seems to stand still. George once thought it was when he saw his home planet from space, but protecting this woman...it may top it.
"You okay?" he asked, barely turning his head in a way that was stoic and badass.
"I...I am," this woman responded, "All thanks to you." Aeris tried to get to her feet but pretended she was hurt so she could be carried like the lazy, manipulative bitch she was. "I...it hurts," she lied shallowly.
George picked her up without hesitation, his sword sheathed, his body glistening with sweat and exuding pheromones enough to bring most mammalian species to estrus within minutes.

[QueenMinnie]

"Well well well," an unfamiliar, high pitched and menacing voice taunted, "What have we here?"
In the distance on a cliff overlooking the battlefield, and back lit by the setting sun an unwelcome, almost terrifying fight sight greeted Bashline, Aeries and his companions.

"It-it cannot be!" Antoine squealed, practically pissing his non-existent pants, "It IZ ZEE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM!!! HE HAZ CUM TO KEEL UZ!!"
"That's Emperor Picklechu to you worms," snorted the green skinned pickle-hedgehog hybrid, "And I have not come to kill you...yet." He smirked and brushed his scarf elegantly, revealing hundreds of intricately woven handwraps all over his body.
"What's your game?" Bashline snarled, "Come to toy with us?"
Picklechu grinned, "Something like that. Come now George Bashline, if you're so robust as others claim to be, why do you fight with that toy of yours. Real men don't need any weapons. Perhaps when you've manned up a bit we can fight."
Without a moment's thought George tossed aside his buster sword.

"I am not afraid of you, beast. I will personally rip whatever constitutes as a heart and feed it to your children."
Picklechu laughed annoyingly, "Whoah, that's no good!" he jeered. "But I have business to attend to Bashline. Perhaps you can have your fists ready when next we meet? But I have something else planned for that useless rookie friend of yours, Ollip."
"Ollip?!" George repeated.
"Indeed. You see, I know what he's doing and I've sent my best men to defeat him.
...
hard trained, tempered by years of flame wars and trolling. The elite international anti-troll unit.
...
Gametoonzone."

"Nyeheheheheeheheh Greetings Obnard."

[Ollid Odnarb]

"Glad ya could make it to tha pawty." said the Mysterious Fat Man, in a nasally voice only a D-List E-Celeb would have. He slurps his beverage, making disgusting noises all the while. "Gnhueh!" exclaimed the man. "2006... a good year."

[Ollid Odnarb]

"Perhaps we haven't gotten to know each otha well. I am Rant Man, and I am here to shatter your perceptions on classic media and yell awkwardly into the camera."

"Did you know that Sandra Lee is a bad cook?" Said the Incognito Burrito Bandito. "She doesn't even adhere to the proper instrwuctions. Dumb bitch couldn't even break an omlette if it would save her!"

"LIAR!!" Yelled Odnarb as he drew his 10mm Supressed Handglock. "She just knows how to please an audience with her outlandish culinary skills!"

[Ollid Odnarb]

"LIAR!?!?"he yelled with virginal intensity. "I'll have you know you're playing a dangerous game here, rookie!" "Every harmful word you say is being loaded into a rocket to the moon RIGHT now and being shot to the moon with all the tobacky!" he said uncharacteristically.

[Ollid Odnarb]

"And... quite frankly, I don't tink ya have much time foah woids."

[SpacemanDan]

*back on New Coney Island, Solid Cooper has finally escaped after years of isolation and capture, finally inspired to break free*
"I've answered your call old friend Adam....however I cannot hear you. I will be transmitting to you until the static breaks free and I can communicate with you. Until then, if you can hear me, I'm getting the hell out of here" He said to his walky talky.

Unbeknownst to Solid Cooper, he's triggered a silent alarm, and suddenly something weird begins echoing down the hallway. He remembers this is a sneaking mission "Optical camo, activate!"

However he was too LATE!

"Well well well......my silver centurion. Finally escaped from the retro-labels....My science officers were notifying me of a mysterious flying passing whale...but you escaping is more important." echoed creepily Nozdorman, as he teleported in.

Anderson anticipated this......he knew his fried had long been corrupted by the Heartless....now it was his chance.
"NORMAN!" Anderson shouted.
"It's Nozdorman...." The goblin said
"NO IT'S NOT.....AND I'LL MAKE YOU REMEMBER......WITH A WORD..................."

*anderson closes his eyes and whispers something barely heard

However Nozdroman reels over, and begins screaming, grabbing his head.
"Ahahgghghgh WHAT THE FUCK?!"
In his mind, he began to reject the lies and REMEMBER

Norman now sees, clearly.....his corruption was not the Heartless, it was nano-machines coded by the great Master Xenohart, his old colleage.
"RELEASE ME!!" Norman screamed in his psych realm
"As you wish" Said Xenahort.

[SpacemanDan]

"Ah, feels so good to be free....." Nano-Xenohart chortled, as Norman collapsed into Anderson's arms.

T"o truly think, you could be a Heartless with a conscience.....to rebel against the dark order........to create a haven for those who should have been rightfully destroyed by the Heartless" Xenohart said.

"How could I be so blind......my fascination with the Sith artifacts.....it all makes sense......it was you......" Norman croaked weakly.

"Yes, through you I have collected every survivor of the Heartless onslaught, and many powerful artifacts that could stop us. All while tricking you into thinking you were helping.....You were always a just man, it's easy to see why you were one of Spider-man's most trusted allies......Now that you will soon be dead, I can confide in you that I was in charge with his assasination." Xenohart lectured.


"We'll STOP YOU!" Anderson yelled.

*suddenly, all of the Sinister Six lietenants appear, in their true forms*

"Unlikely..." Xenahort said. "I had you surrounded by powerful Heartless generals, to assure you played right into my hand. Your escape only furthered things Solid Cooper..."

"Where's Carnage......where's Neo-Doomguy...." Norman croaked.

"Unfortunately, symbiotes are immune to the corruption of the Heartless.....luckily you have him off world, helping fools." Xenahort says "And as for your trusted Doomguy....."

*Glyder glides in dropping a bloody helmet*


"Did you ever stop to think Norman, the consequences of building a haven on the bones of a violent world like the Doom planet?" Xenahort chuckled.

"I'd love to see your "friends" finish you off, but I must ensure I see the retribution you shall receive for building your empire on the bones of the untameable.......Farewell Norman.......You shall perish with all your secrets.....all your weapons that could defeat us....all the lives you saved. Gone in an instance.

*he fades away*


"Don't worry Norman, we can stop them! There's still time!" Anderson yelled. "We can save everyone! The weapons to defeat the heartless, to stop the Grilithium Onslaught.....to take on the Fathers of Cletus.....We'll do it together. As allies!"


"I'm sorry, friend.....forgive me in the afterlife for me imprisoning you.....and for leading to your end here....my only solace, is I will perish with you...." Norman croaked, closing his eyes.

But it was already too late. The destruction of New Coney Island, the dream of Norman, Spider-man's most trusted ally.....it was all ending, not by the hands of the Heartless, but by their own shortsightedness.


There was a horrible loudness.

Then, there was a horrible silence.

[SpacemanDan]

The tape finally cut out...

The silence was deafening in the shady room back on Traverse Town. Adam Jensen had heard it all. The reuniting of his oldest allies, and their death....

"W-what are you going to do?"" Tomoko stuttered

Jensen stared in silence for a good few minutes. He was at a loss.

[Ollid Odnarb]

[Ollid Odnarb]

Click the link to see the horrors of war

https://i.imgur.com/WcJaK31.jpg

[SpacemanDan]

*in the hallowed halls of Webcomic Planet, Carnage screams
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

*inhales deeply* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKK!!!!
He howls over the dead bodies of those he failed to save - Ryan Sohmer, of the Least I Could Do Militia, Dresdan Codak, of legendary Dresdan Codak fame, and the chick from Moon over June, lay dead, eviscerated by pickle monstrosities below his feet.

He held out his sith orb, trying to contact Nozdorman, but everytime he just got the Windows 98 error sound and blackness. He looked around, not a friend in sight, no living ally to aide.

He realized he had been approaching this wrong. He whips out his walkie-talkie and puts away his cracked sith orb, and attempts to contact his friends on the planet - if they still be alive.

[SpacemanDan]

*codec noises play and the call starts*

[SpacemanDan]

*Carnage hangs up and begins galloping over the mountains of Webcomic Planet yipping loudly into the night as he heads towards the horrors of war*

[Ollid Odnarb]

We find a mysterious masked individual deep inside the Duck Duck GO! Facility where our heroes "Sollid Odnarb" and soon to be "Carnage" are making their stand against the rant-cid Fatman.



"B.B...." said the mysterious individual.

"Password identification systems. Accept new codename." "Reddit Goldman."

"Identification accepted."

[Ollid Odnarb]

[Ollid Odnarb]

"Hoo haa!" evoked Reddit Goldman, staring lustfully into the eyes of his pet project, the B.B AI System, which controls half of Webcomic Planets upvotes on the Duck Duck Go subsystems.

[Ollid Odnarb]

"B.B, I don't have much time to say this but we're going to need to get out of here with you intact. Fat-Man's missile could explode any second and that wormhole those heartless brought here that are gonna suck in that fat kid and transvestite could devour our entire pet project!" said Reddit Goldman exasperatedly.

"Enabling development plans download... for Big Lazercheese Shell" "Progress 1% out of 100%, expected finish time 10 minutes, would you like to hear a joke, Reddit Goldman?"



"Yes, good... good... No one would have guessed the Big Lazercheese Shell was a front for a nuclear weapons facility, and even IF they could. They would not be able to withstand the might of B.B's advanced nuke detection and firing capabilities."

"B.B, one final request. Set coordinates for attack to 14,69"

"Yes, master beep boop beep" *sounds play as the B.B AI program uses google maps to plan a counter attack on the Penny Arcade Expo*

[QueenMinnie]

While all this crazy ass shit was going down...

"Sniff...I sure hope my dad or someone rescues us, huh mister?" said the pathetic and weeping Cheago.
"Enough talk out of you!" warned the heartless solider, causing Cheago to flinch in pain. The bombs would go off soon...and everyone would die...unless that fay guy could be stopped.
"You'll never get away with this!" Cheago whined impotently.
"My dear boy," said the guard, "We already ha-"
*BOOM*

[QueenMinnie]

Cheago's eyes opened after the initial shock of the blast, his body coated with gore.

"Kept you waiting, huh?" a slightly high pitched and over dramatic voice said.
Cheago watched in amazement as the strapping soldier he was sexually attracted to removed his bindings and took his head in his hands. Would he kiss him now?

"So you're the pudgy little bastard everyone wants to kill?" the mysterious Navy Seal said, "Well, can't say you're much to look at but I need answers. And you'll answer for your BETRAYAL Cheago!!!!!!!" he said, putting an extremely cringey emphasis on the word betrayal.

[QueenMinnie]

"Tehehehehee!" An effeminate voice tittering, "What have we here?" Suddenly, a cloaked figure fell from the sky as if from nowhere.

"Looks like we've got a troll in our little chat."
The Navy Seal turned around, readying his rifle, "Chibi. Second in command of GameToonZone. Shoulda figured you'd be around here somewhere." He opened fire, which the gay blond deflected with ease.
In a flash Cheago's savior was pressed against the wall, wincing in pain. "FUCK!!!" he screamed loudly.

"Oh we'll have plenty of time for that, after the boy is dead," Chibi lisped gayly.

[QueenMinnie]

"No! Stop right there!" Ollid yelled commandingly, "I'll shoot you!"
"Rookie, you left the safe-"
"We already did that," Ollid reminded the Navy Seal.
"Oh, well shoot the fucker then."
"NO SO FAST," said another voice, adding a fourth sudden shift of perspective in this update. The sound of a jet filled the air, and onboard... none other then...

"SPAX!" the Navy Seal spat.
"Hello.............................................................brother!!" Everyone gasped at this shocking revelation.
"Chibi, be a dear and remove that mask. Let me see the face of the man I'm about to kill."

"Ah yes. As I suspected. My inferior twin, Spoony Snake."
"Inferior?!"
"Yes Spoony. Inferior. While you and my brother Nostalgic Snake inherited half of our genes, I got them all from our father."
"Father?!" Spoony said again.
"That's right...our illustrious prog-progen...progenerator. The legendary internet reviewer. Big Nerd."

[QueenMinnie]

"Now tell me Brother. Are you prepared to die? Wait are you fucking kidding me!!!" Spax said in exasperation. Out of the corner of his eye his dramatic entrance was cut short by the final one of this update. A hulking behemoth of a man, filled with rage somehow managed to jump onto the jet right next to him, his whole body a bulging mass of hate filled muscle.
"Who the fuck are you?" Spax demanded, his rotten, damaged teeth jutting out in anger and insane hatred.
George didn't even acknowledge him. "Ollid, I've gotten this guy covered. You need to kill that pig guy. With him dead the hostages will be safe. Don't worry about how I know all this." He tapped his temple and winked, "I hacked your codec."

The two began fighting in a most epic fucking fashion on the jet, but sadly due to budget constraints this part is being cut. The jet began to fly from view to pretend like there really was an epic ass fight to be seen, which there was too bad you can't see it. George threw punch after punch to disable Spax and with his free hand tossed something that Ollid would appreciate.
"Use this!" George said, "I think it's about time for Pickletaro to Let 'er boil...over!"

[Ollid Odnarb]

[Ollid Odnarb]

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